Breaking out in silence

It sounds like I am a hedgehog, but sometimes in some situations, I think it is necessary to behavior like a hedgehog.

The exporting & sales project has taken long time since last November, I am a bit sick of it, but still need to keep it on and finish it by the end of year2. Already the secret unsatisfied has been jumping through the entire group for a long time, but still no people stand up, also include me. It seems too international group can also not work perfectly. People are trying to be nice and friendly to each other, I agree. But the work is work, once people are in a team, the responsibilities are divided.

Now I realize, directly speaking is not always bad especially while you are facing so different and difficult people. Because what I leant from my culture and my personal experince , I can not so direct to talk to people, it brougt me be confused and also into trouble. Too nice to the world is not good, even got misunderstood. And got the extra pressure what people were trying put on me, and expected me finish which are no within my responsibilities.

I lost my temper, but was asked by why, but why should not I? People can hardly think I was really angry on someone or even lose temper, I am not that kind of people, so gradully I lost my right.

I hope I can still have anger. Already got enough unhappiness and stress, anger may help me to break out my emotion, why shoud care so much about the others more than myself, first take care of myself.

I am tired.