My appologise

Suddenly remember that I even keep a blog.

I was with all of passions to start this site, wanted to make it good, nice and to make myself tell and share. However, I did not remember when I have lost all the passions of writings. Quickly flying over several months, now the end of the year.......

After all the busy weeks, my attendtions went back, with much hopes.

First appologize to everyone who may read my stories, perhaps none, but it is also for myself.

A new start is coming.........

Police Drama

Action one: 8:00 early morning, on the bike rush to school, tram and car share the same lane

Following was a police car, " Madam, can you please stop?"
(STOP) " What's up?" (CONFUSED)
" You have just broken the red light."
" I did not see it"
"Yes, you did not see it. You were on the phone, a car even stopped
for you, otherwise it must be an accident."
"Sorry!"
" You will get warning, and have to pay 60 euros for it!"
"But..................."
(The yellow paper of bill has already been in hand)
(Silence)
What a strict police...........

Action 2: half and one month later, on the bike rush to work, just went out from home,
turnleft.......(music activities close the neigbour, they are checking the parking)

" Madam, can you please stop?"
"Yes, what's up?"
" You are on the walking lane, can not be on the bike, you will get
warning for 15 Euros"
"Hey, I just live here, only turned left then you stopped me, not even
have time to go to the bike lane yet. I am in a hurry, please.."
" Ok, please don't do it next time!"
"OK, bye````"

What a bored police....

Action three: The same day, on the bike to home after work, evening
(FACE TO FACE)
"Where is your bike light?"
" It got stollen this afternoon when I went to work, only the back light left, see??
the front one is missing, ai....only a few hours"
(I was lying, the front one was stollen already half year ago)
"Poor girl, take care for next time"
"Ok, thank you!"

Haha..What a nice police......

" our last summer" 2009

Perface: "Our last summer" can never be the last, next, next , next.........................

Summber is going the end, summer holiday is going the end as well.

Holiday in Germany(Rotterdam-Osnabruck-Hamburg-Osnabruck-Rotterdam)

Always nice to go out with friend together

On the way tranfer at Bremen

Curry worst(Lekker geaten)


Bus tour around Hamburg

Alster(a peace on the little beach)

Harbor(Rotterdam??NO!!Hamburg!)

City Hall(Flag for The Gays Pride)

"Experiencing gay life"

"Can we have it in China ?"

"No!"

"But enough to see it here"

Not in Holland

Tidy and typicall German

That was a short but nice time there. What we should expect more? Seeing is to get knowing...

.........

Remember it!!

This is a very good and unforgetable study experice from School!!

It took 8 months for this project, which we were doing the research for a German comany to open a car washing street in Nanjing, China.

First try to make a video.......

"Made in China"

" Almost everything is made in China!"

What a powerful sentence! China occupied the most lands of the world?(Kidding) The most people think " Made in China" stands for bad quality. Who thinks about this, if people wanna cheaper and cheaper, how can expect the best quality??? If foreigners trust the international standard, why still doubt to buy stuff in Europe but made in China?

But anyway, going to my topic! " Made in China"

Perface: Introduction

Zhanhong Liao, a Chinese painter, was studing in the UK, and then moved to Holland. " Made in China" exhibition is a combination of Chinese and Western culture, expressing an interaction of two cultures with paintings and digital photoes.

Bei, for marriage/ Zhanhong, painter/me, student/business woman from restaurant/researcher,Uniliver

Part1: The talking salon

talking about my ideas of Holland

Middle: a Dutch mama with an adopted Chinese daugher

In most western people's eyes, they knew Chinese from Chinese resteraurant. In the early time, Chinese people from Hongkong or Guangzhou started the restaurant when they first came to Europe, because of the restrictions on language and especially the foreigners, restarant was easier to start. Especially the Asia food is also very popular. Later, more and more Chinese came to abroad, working or studing,there is a expantion of occupations. Knowing of Chinese is going to be more and more. For myself, still continue learning and getting into the cross culture.

Part2 workshop

Chinese painting( drawing bamboo with brush in black)

We had learnt it since the primary school with the drawing class.Most were the chinese celigraphs, to help us have nicer hand writing. Nowadays, Old people draw and write as an exercise of sports and also traing patience with the expression of Chinese traditional art.

Tai Chi

"Thao" is a traditional Chinese psychology，as I recognised, if someone knew about China, they had heared of it or had knew it. Tai Chi as the traditional chinese kungfu, has been widely spreading around the world.

Sometimes, i asked some foreigners why they like Chinese or China, can get different answers. Something is just a feeling and passions, no detailed explained reasons. People are understanding the differences to accept. Also include me, learning new things everyday, how the western people are handling things, and the way of their thinking.

Everyone has own way to go, if all the ways can go together, more people can walking on the same road!

Time flies

It seems the busy time gonna be the end......Had a lot of things to do and stressed, but anyway, everything will be fine.

It has been already my third summer in holland. Almost every time the same, everyone went for summber holiday, going back to home country.

Because of the placement, not going to see the most friends while septermber comes. So fast.....already half way of the studies. I have been told by friends in China, this year they would graduated, they are facing aparting in the universities and looking for a job...... or even someone has to running around different cities.

I think I will have the same day, right?

A friend was saying to me," Lori, you are different than two years ago, become muture, I am happy for you." It is a very nice compliment, isn't it?

Time flies, we are experiencing, and also growing...........

Summer survive ?

It is so hot, sweating while move a bit, even for some people, sweating while just sit there. Actually, I could not remember how it was the last summer, but it doesn't matter now. Eventhough I do not like too hot weather, the most I do not like is mosquitos.

No body likes mosquitos, for me, I am scared of mosquitos. I got bitten every night, itch and big swallow. Friedends ask why don't I use some spray or cream or drops, or the electronic killers. None of them works for me. First spray the room, put the stuff on my body, next day, the big red, itchhh,,,,,, after bite puts on,,,,,,itchhh.......still.

********Horrible!!!!

That is my destination, bitten by mosquitos in the summer, I can survive from being hot but not mosquitos.

Blood type is O, and perhaps sweet blood, very tasty.........Those are not my fault, who can help change.......Let me escape from them

Jasmine.......!!

W0o lala..Woo lala.....That used to be my English name...................!!!

Accidently, I was searching the date of Chinese new year. The traditional new year is exactly the same date as my birthday, suprise...But wait a bit, still half a year to go. Then found out the new year news, the Österreinische Vienna classic philharmonic (Chinese of the name for me is easy for me, only three phrase), which I like, will come to have a China tour. woow...looking forward, but I think I can not go. I was checking the program list, there are Wiener Blut Walzer,An der schönen blauen Donau,Bizett: aus der Oper Carmen......Red Women soliers, the butterfly, and the make me rember one---Jasmine flower....!!　The chinese folk song, played with traditional music instruments. 　　　　　　　　　　　　

And also the world wide orchestras and bands play it too, so the traditional song became the modern opera....wowwwooo.. the other diferent feeling.

(Two videos to make you all compare)

Actually, the folk was very old, and spreaded the whole China,because of the nice melody and easy sentence was changed into different vision, and also sang by different Chinese local language. I prefer to only have a simple voice singing. As the flowerself, I like the smell, and little wite flower, very fresh. That was why I used it as my first English name. But only was using that for half an year, I still remembered, before I came to study abroad, it was very popular to have a English name to be called, make the name easier. And some friends said, that was too common, the name, you should change it. And your look doesn't look like Jasmine flower, better don;t use it. And also the Chinese pronounciation was as similar as a name of eye drops, oh... That sounds a bit....ooohhh....Ok Change it!!

So a small story of my English name, but till now I still like it. Jasmine,...like it as a name, a song, and a story of the song.......

Love spreads in animals' world

Preface

An interesting video of the Birds of Paradise. A sound from a bird:

Hey, look at me! I am a normal bird, like to stay in the tropical forrest, or the rain forrest, it depends on my mood. Humm.... I am always in black, that is my style. Don't you know that, MIB? It means Man In Black, that is talking about me. oh.....by the way, you may see some similar kind like how I look, they are just my families, but please come on , first focus on looking at me.

I like jumping here and there. I am always curious, and want to check out every thing. Sometimes, there are some dusts or the little insect, I have to help all the weak brunches, keep them clean and away from danger. You know, I am always like that, being a volunteer and playing as a "Mama"....But I am not gay, please do not missunderstand me.

I like singing and dancing with music. I have a nice outfit, turning around with it, and sometimes move my head, like Turkish girls do. I feel so happy and free while I am dancing. What a pity! I have no girl friend can sing and dance with me. Happyness need be shared. I should find one, being in love is a great feeling. How can I miss that in the part of my life?

"Wooo... Who you are? Where do you come from? Hey! hey! hey! Come on, stay away from me. Don't come so close to me, I do not know you yet." I think she is not my type, better threat her and stay back. What? Why she is still here, not give up. Ok!! Let's me continue." Lalalala lala.....oh ya..she left.. I think I should choose a best one for me.

I can not expect my love, she will apear in my life one day. I am alway a nice guy, haha..... Do you like me?

( The End)

Healthy food

I was struggling with pimples on the face already several days, and also was unnormall by going to the toilet every time. This green store is offering the healthy nature food, i just went there once with betty. As the knowledge from traditional chinese medicine, taking medicine for health rather than taking healthy food. Withour those centrums, I went here to buy some green food, dry millet, maize and soya beans. I believe hardly people will like it. I remembered that when I was young, mum always made some porridge, with green beans, maize and millet, mix or seprate. To be honest, I like those things, but not porridge. The story as mum told me, when I was in the kindergarden, everytime if we had eat porridge, I always put them into the other kid's bowel, and hangs up, told teacher I finished. I was rather being in hunger, but not eat them. Mum always said I was a nauty girl when I was young.

I am gonna try out again if I like it.






That is one meal. The porridge doesn;t look good, a bit dry, should put more water to boil it. The tast was not bad, just the nature tast from three mixed different food. I can not take it every day, I still prefer the wite rice, haha... even less kinds of nutriention, but tasty. However, I do not mind eat it once a week, always fewer things make more important.



Extra story: People can see the Chinese paper was used as the cloth, I used that just in case to make the cloth dirty, and also sometimes I can read words while I am eating. Crazy!!

Open day

Chinese, as one of the most popular language is learned by a lot of foreigners. Danhua has welcomed a new school open day for Chinese followers.

Already work in the Chinese school for half an year, get along with colleagues and students. The class what I and the other teacher teach is a special one, the students are in the age from 15 to 45, quiet different. They want to learn how to speak Chinese, and a little bit writing, basically only learn PINYIN is enough. They are either working in a company need Chinese, or their family is Chinese, they have motivation to learn , so doesn't matter the age. When everytime they have make a small progress, I always feel I achieve my dream closer.

The Children class. Parents and their kids can attend the class for free, to see if they feel like sending the kids to learn Chinese. " Education starts earlier"Goin to be easier in the future.

I remembered before I was talking with a friend, if parents from two nations, what language can kid speak. At least two and without any accent. It sounds very nice, and also easier for studying a new language. haha...I like the idea.

So let's call up the international marriage....... haha..

" I am German!"

My the other project is doing the research for a German auto carwashing service company, which wants to expand the business by opening a car wash spot or joining venture in China.

Had skype conference call between Rotterdam(Holland) and Duessedorf(Germany) with the manager, after the cozy opening, the first sentence is " The Chinese are like followers".

(Here I need to explain a bit, Chinese here means language, and we had finished the draft report, and the purpose of the meeting is for advice. And the biggest report were written by three Chinese girls, includes me)


And the next sentence is " I am German!"

First sentence we were confused, and second sentence we were even more. Of course he is German, and what does the meaning of flowers. He started to explain, " I am German(come on, again?), why, I can always find negative points, or I want to find, it doesn't mean your report is bad, opposite, I am impressed. (ahahaa....breath out) ,But( hold on the breath again....and "but "always follows the more important point), there are still some points I am missing, for example.........."

Ok, the long meeting started like this.............


Staying abroad, can always feel the culture difference. Not only start understanding the western culture, but also realizing my own culture. And realize some points I also do not like, I call it
" too Chinese". In general, I could realize Chinese like this, Germans are more like that, or Dutch are more like the other points, a group of same nation always stands for one kind of culture. There are may some different between diferent individules, but also can find some commons. Actually, I like the trend of culture globlization. Too extream in one point I do not like that, with differnt cultures, I can always get the positive points, and try to understand people, compromise between each other, and compare if I am too fanatic. I always believe that the idea is not always good and right, need to find out what can be better.

Law of " Ai Wu Ji Wu"

Most people have know the " Murphy's Law but not " Ai Wu Ji Wu', the Chinese Slang.

" Ai Wu Ji Wu", the meaning is: a person loves his house, and then also loves crows on the roof of his house. But now, Chinese people used it as a metaphor that people love someone, will also care about and love everything related to this person. Well, it can also not only be used on human beings, I had understood the meaning and also the metaphoer, but did not have any real example ( the evidence to make me believe) in my daily life, but the recent observation were telling me, I should believe it.

People always have the preference, it is nature. The idea and opinions people will most agree or follow while the people you like are telling. Sometimes, even do not agree on , but always patient, towards very supportive attitude, till the last word of the speech. There is a comparison, basically two people A and B are giving the same opinions, but A is a more favorable person by C. B was arguing back immediately just after the fist sentence. But A is talking, talking, talking wiht the supportive sight and nodding head from C. Let ignore if A is wrong. Interuption is not nice, ignoring the feeling of B is not fair nomatter while people talk to whom.

Actually there are nothing wrong about with the whole story. It is not possiblbe to be 100% rational while what situation people in and what kind of people are facing to. We are humans, with emotions and passions. Making mistakes can not be avoided, but need to be considered enough and complete before, otherwise will hurt the other people and self.


Last word: I also recognized for myself, that no matter what, paying a little bit attention on, will always find the new idea and give self suprise.

Breaking out in silence

It sounds like I am a hedgehog, but sometimes in some situations, I think it is necessary to behavior like a hedgehog.

The exporting & sales project has taken long time since last November, I am a bit sick of it, but still need to keep it on and finish it by the end of year2. Already the secret unsatisfied has been jumping through the entire group for a long time, but still no people stand up, also include me. It seems too international group can also not work perfectly. People are trying to be nice and friendly to each other, I agree. But the work is work, once people are in a team, the responsibilities are divided.

Now I realize, directly speaking is not always bad especially while you are facing so different and difficult people. Because what I leant from my culture and my personal experince , I can not so direct to talk to people, it brougt me be confused and also into trouble. Too nice to the world is not good, even got misunderstood. And got the extra pressure what people were trying put on me, and expected me finish which are no within my responsibilities.

I lost my temper, but was asked by why, but why should not I? People can hardly think I was really angry on someone or even lose temper, I am not that kind of people, so gradully I lost my right.

I hope I can still have anger. Already got enough unhappiness and stress, anger may help me to break out my emotion, why shoud care so much about the others more than myself, first take care of myself.

I am tired.

Let's cry

Still remember a view from a movie, a girl is running all the time till get wet, " why don't you stop?"" I am sweating, in order to stop tears coming out from my eyes."

......

well, It sounds not logical but I think we can understand what she means,right?

It is not necessary to dam up our feelings, and I do not believe that people want to do that. The only thing is that people do not dare or do not want to express in front of people, especially when people are sad. Tears can be with happiness, touched, missing and sadness, pains or even the dust. It is just the water in our body coming out.

Cry is a nice way to let out the depression and sadness. Why should we force ourselves? and keep telling ourselves " Don't cry, you have to be strong"? Some people say " You just want to get sympathy from the other people when people see you are crying." That is true, we are all humans, we will give the sympathies when we see someone cry, nothing wrong about it, but I do not like the people to say in that way.It sounds so cold. Let's cry when we want, do not dam up the feelings.

Cry, cry, cry; we do, we do,we do, nomatter females or males, why not?After that, feel tired, but still feel much better. Just like when you are very happy, can you stop laughing?

Why me?

" What a nice guy!"Betty said.

We just went out from the " Betty Bear", the most popular restaurant bar is visited by us. A guy was in a rush and passing a garbage bin, sundenly he turned back, bended down, picked up a empty can and threw it into the bin.Keeping walking

" Why did he stop again?"

He saw the other plastic bag in the blossom on the street, quickly pick it up and dropped into the same bin, and glanced at us.

We were a bit shocked, there are still these kind of people exist. Most of people think this guy must be crazy or stupid. There should be some specialized cleaner come to clean up the garbage on the street. I am touched. I never throw the garbage on the street, but I do not know if i will also pick up any garbage on the street and throw them into the bin while I am walking on the street. I still remembered that when i was in primary school, we had kind of volunteer activity. a group of students were hanging on the street with sweepers. Even some of us wouldn't like to , but had to follow . Now think about it, that was a part of the education.

People may think " why should I do it?" but "why not?" I do not think that is silly, on the other hand also admire the awareness of the environmental protection.

One world, one family....

Child soldier

By accident, I caught up one piece of the interview of a black guy in sierra leone on TV

He was the general in the child soldier when he was 14. The suprising story is that he drank human blood.That is scaring and disgusting!!(I saw the movie named Twinlight, that was not humans behavior) He played a rols as a big boy in the team, gambling the femal or the male, just went to suck the blood. I saw his face, he was talking very natually, and carmly. Now he still lives in the villige while he was the gerneral, he said the people there could forgive him. Noone could say whose fault it was. But for me, he suffered such a bad childhood, could still behavior like nothing happened. Somehow, there should be a shadow in his heart.

I felt so sorry for him. Things are getting better, we can not go back to change the history, can forvigen but can never be forgotten.

Pinkpop 2009

Every year, the special pop music concert in Holland, I saw some parts of the concert on TV. Actually, I have no idea with the names of the bands，such as Bruce Springsteen, Krezip, the killers..., or maybe just in case heared some music but couldn't not remember the names. I am not so crazy with pop music, but by hearing those music, the feeling is different, feel falling in love with the music. So impressive!! Here it is just a special band, named KREZIP with three beauties, they started the band nine years ago when they were 17 or 18, a wonderful age, but gonna quit this year, the Pinkpop 2009 is the last show for them. I saw one of the woman's baby, perhaps she found the family is more important than her own career,even she can give up her favorite music, do not know if it is the current decision.I like her voice very much, and also touched by her song.

2000 , a starting band

2009, a finishing band

this is for every young girl,we have to learn, we have to try, we have to trust, we have to cry, we have to see. we have to know, we have to be strong, we have to make decision..........

I would stay(Lyrics)

If this is true,

I thought then, what will I think

Will I stay but rather I would get away

I'm scared that I won't find a thing

And afraid that I'll turn out to be alone, but I

I have to learn, have to try, have to trust I have to cry

Have to see, have to know that I can be myself

And if I could I would stay

And if they're not, not in my way

I'll stare here in the distance

But I'll grow up to be just like you, yeah

I'll grow up to be just like you, yeah

I see it all I'm sure but

Do I know what's right

Ithought I knew but it turns out the other way

I am scared that I won't find a thing

And afraid that I'll turn out to be alone, but I

I have to learn, have to try, have to trust I have to cry

I have to see, have to know that I can be myself

And if I could I would stay

And if they're not, not in my way I'll stare here in the distance

But I'll grow up to be just like you, yeah

I'll grow up to be just like you

I want to tell you

Why would I try to

You are all that I can see now

Why would I try to

And I want to tell you

Why would I try to

You are all I can see now

I know I'll try to

I have to learn, have to try, have to trust, have to cry

I have to see, have to know that I can be myself

But if I could, yeah, I would stay

And if they're not, not in my way

I'll stare here in the distance

But I'll grow up to be just like you, yeah

I'll grow up to be just like you, like you

Lucky week

Finally and totally done with being worried about searching my internship, got the signiture from the teacher. Starting the internship will be much earlier than the official time, but I don't care, just need to arrange everything and keep a brave heart. I am going back to take three jobs and also go to school every week, this time the mission is much heavier. People may think I am crazy, but I do not care. One is what I like to do( Teacher for hobby), one is what I must do( server for money), the other one is what I want to do( Internship for getting work experience).
Getting less free time makes me think less the other things.

I was suprised that the headmaster from Chinese School said she would raise my salary next new semester starts. I was so happy not for money, but I got her compliment. She is a very strict woman, hardly can praise someone. And I also get along with my students( shouldn't call them in this way, because they are either in the same age as mine, or even much older than me), we went to have lunch together, they even told me they like me. The feeling is very special and so good.

I will take a good care of myself since now on, and try my best to compromise everything. Every day is the lucky day, just need to have faith for yourself.

Language study

Since I have been here, I started learning Dutch. Actually, it is a school course, so have to lean it in order to get enough credits.

Today, saw a part of a video, which is about the vietnames girl( who I mentioned in the previous blog, went back to Vietanam). She learnt very hard for her part-time job, selling the spring rolls. I felt shamed.......

Within the time I am staying, my Dutch should be good, but......... so can not even say that in the between, learnt not even 20 German words( Because of friend to start, but giving up after three or four days). Last friday, i had the Dutch listening exam, that was terrible. I can only understand the gernal topics, but for answering questions, still unknow. So I stole some anwers from a Moroco boy who was siting in front of me.

I always said that I did not have time for studing a new language. And maybe I have no talent for the language.But those were very non-creative excuses, simply I am lazy to learn. No any motivations at all!!

What should I do? Continue like this?Hopefully I will not regret in the future that I have not learnt well. Now I have no any clue for this. Maybe I will just put a little bit effort in it without totally ignoring......

Friends

I was invited by a friend to her birthday celebration. It took place at Club Xi, a Chinese-Duth KTV club. I did not even go to KTV very often, which is now very popular in China, and also one of the most entertainment activities.

I was singing quiet a lot tonight, even till my throat was going be raucous. Our six girls, who were called chinese party anamials by someone, were together and also singing together. All are the familared songs and music with nice lyrics.We started rememorizing our past, experience and expressing our emotions by the songs. When we had some songs about the friendship, we congratulated ourselves that we still have each other. Perhaps during the every relationship, we have to leave friends alone a bit. It was understandable and also comptely accepted by friends. They were suffering the loness and being left. But once something happens, friends are always the first one appear to you and stay with you.

We had fight; We had querral; We had been pouring the cold water on their head when they were taling some opinions; We had great times, laughing and hanging out together. One is like summer, the other one is likes autum, but we can always turn the winter into spring.Perhaps if we say relationship is the current, but the friendship is forever.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but sometimes it is hurting.But I am happy I still have friends support and are with me. That is alreay very enough and also make me satisfied. Both real "ships" are hard to have. Open our eyes first!! Once we own them, must cherish them.

The sunlight

I feel so warm and peaceful in my heart. I have been over excited these few two days. Because suddenly I have noticed that what I want for my future and also noticed my direction.

I have had a dream, being a teacher in the countryside, poor and underdeveloped area of China. I like it and I think education is very important to the future of a country; I have had a dream, I wanted to help more poor people to get over all the miserable life, at least make them do not need to be in the unsecured situation and worried about what they are going to eat next meal; I have had a dream, travelling around the entire world and see all different things.

Since I am abroad, I had a big influence with people surrounding me, all the different opinions and attitudes. Or maybe I am a open-minded person, and also willing to. I really like the words from William Shakespeare:” Reality can destroy the dream, why shouldn’t the dream destroy reality?” We need to accept the reality, because we are living in this crazy world. Gradually, the dream from our young age would disappear very easily(In this opinion, I need to make comment that I am from China, the system and the society will make harder to do something we wish and we want). But why don't we accept the reality and try to get our dreams closer?

“Maybe you can work for some organisations with projects to help poor people, earning the money in the same time but also help the poor”. I was awake. And feel so warm in the sunlight! I can make the connection between my studies and also my dreams. Helping is not always giving away the money, but also need to make the people aware; there are still some poor people in the world. Why shouldn't the luxury people make a little contribution but without continuing to waste money? Why shouldn’t the poor people get some chances to work and support themselves?

I want to have money, everyone needs it, but I am not that person to be satisfied with the luxury life. I always have the motivations that I need to study hard, the reasons are for my parents, for myself, they feed me, so I must give them back (perhaps they do not need my money at all, but I want them live in a better life and make it worth that they send me here), in the meantime, I need to feed myself and have a happier life.

Thinking is always much easier than doing it. Some people will say, you think you have enough power to make your dream come into truth? Dare to dream!! If everyone thinks that it can never come into truth, so how it will be? Why shouldn't I think about it and try to work it out in that direction? If more people are aware with the facts, I believe the world will be nicer. Dreams become the goal of my future........

One little drop will be dried quickly, but what about the whole ocean?

How I will be when I am 80

Today, I was working the whole day and evening in the restaurant, 10.5 hours.Later evening, I saw a old woman walking slowly into the restaurant with the crutch. She was walking hunchly and took more time by sitting down. I guess she is seventies or even eighty.

Every week, she comes to eat, simply only one tomatosoup and one spring roll. She sits in the restaurant always by two or even three hours. Her husband was dead four years ago, so now she is alone. I did not know if she has any children. I am just thinking if she has but where are they. Every time I saw her, she was always by her own. My boss said she was always walking outside if the weather was nice. She wants to talk to people or just want to see some people. I think in the western country, there are more old people like she is now. I feel sorry for them. Living alone, maybe they like it, but some how still feel a bit lonely, or simply just respect their children's lives, do not want to disturb. They did not expect their children come to live with them, but at least, it is better that children can come to take look at them, or just have a dinner together.

In this case, I like the way in gernal now what our parents are doing to our grandparents. First, i think it is hardly to find that parents are still living with grand parents. But always during the weekend, parents will bring the kids to grandparents. So three generations are staying together, talking, playing Majang, watching some TV programm. Kids are running around in the house. What a busy view! But what a cozy family!

I do not think anyone will like it when they are sitting alone in the house. It is always nice to spend the weekend with friends, families. Our parents are feeding us till we have grown up , and one day, when they are old but feeling lonely. Parents will never expect anything from us, just being healthy and happy. For sure, they miss us and also want to see us more often. I think that is nature. As their children, nomatter how old we are, we are still the children in their eyes. Sometimes, there are some reasons, such as living far away or we have no time, but at least need to try best.

So Why shouldn't we go to see them more often? just imangine, how we will feel when we are getting old, especially when we lost our lover?What do we still expect?

Alcohol

My roommate asked some friends to come to have barbecue. That was a very beautiful day! I joined them half, because must work in the restaurant in the evening. I was in charge of taking photoes and making videos. Unfortunately, I only made contribution for not even two hours,I like to do it, haha....But later when i came back , I joined the party!

Yang was drinking some pink wine, I thought it was Rose, but suprisely, it was Rum with mild ice, 80% alcohol. It must be sharp tast. I did not know since when, I have been interest in the alcohol, maybe just because this one is special, i never had it before and not even heared about the Rum has such hight alcohol. So with last months alcohol trainning experience, I tried some, I took twice, in total, it was 60ml pure Rum with some ice(Nomally, people drink it mixed with other soft drink. To be honest, I did not like the tast at all, after I could not feel anything accept feeling warm. It is going to be really good to take the Rum to Northpole and will not shake body all the time when stay outside.

Some times, I found alcohol is a good thing. When it works, people feel relax. That is the reason when people are together, achohol plays an important role in it. But when we are sad or depressed, taking alcohol is not a good idea, I tried, trust me. it makes it even worse. And always, make people drink too much and got headache.

Take it easy!

only one day of the week at school

I did not write for a few days and also missed my regular programm(to gym), was ill but also lazy. Slept quiet long but it seems still not enough.

Today it was Wednesday, only for few hours to school. The first day of the week, I went to school, missed some classes of the first two days, and tomorrow it starts the holidays again and stay over the weekend. It seemed I was trying to give myself the holiday this week. Some people from the group asked me how i was doing, cause I also missed the group meetings..I felt so nice to see some school friends again, having classes,eventhough it was not so interesting, talking with some friends, having some coffee, even today I also had a project meeting. It was not bad as what I thought, every boday was happy, no more arguements and questions this time, very peaceful and friendly environment.

In break time of school, I heared a story from a friend, about a guy from the same spanish class. The guy comes from Sudan, or just that area, he lost his 6 families members in one month, including his parents.Wooo.....I had no any words to say, felt so sorry for him and got chicken skin. He had left the country for about 10 years, and he was the child soldier. She told that she read some stories about the child soldier, very miserable life of them. What a miserable life of him!! had a bad childhood, now lost family, and suffering the pains(I lost a close friend of mine before, so I could understand the feeling, his situation was even worse than mine),but luckly he got a brother in Holland.

I hate the war, I hate the people just come to your country take everything away, I hate the people kill any people, women, children, the old. Why shouldn't every country live in a peaceful world? Having toooooo.. much desire will never make satification. Why people have sooo... much desire? It is good, but always not too much.

Hopefully, everyone appreciate the lives, only can live once.Hopefully, the guy will go better year by year;Hopefully, we are going to have a peace in the everywhere of the world.

Today was a good day, nice weather, less winds, had school, had coffee and dinner with friends , came home late, but enjoyed the day!! Life just needs to be enjoyed simplely.......

Next day is coming, we go to fight for our future to welcome our new day!

Life goes on

Yesterday, a vietnamese girl with her family,her husband, mother in law and her six-month baby came to say goodbye to Hennie. I have never met her before, only saw her photos, videos of her, and heared her name million times. For me, I did not see any special on her face, just a face alway with smile with two dimples. I said she would be a very great teacher in the kindergarden.

Her first photo here I saw, just looks like the every student first time here. The face was full of curious, sunshine and naiveness. Today I saw her, she was completely different. She has grown up. She was studing in the same school as what am, while the beginning of her year three, she was taking placement in Vietnam. Supprisely, she got married during that time. This year she had graduated and got the diploma.

Time is flying, a little girl has already become a Mama. I was holding the baby for a few minutes with my 100% power, was nervous, afraid of breaking and let him fall down. She likes Holland very much, but the reality will hardly happen as people like. There are also the possibilities that she can come to visit one day, or the grown baby come to Holland. Everything is hardly to be forecasted, only time proves everything what has happened. It was a plein story of a girl, but i realize that always the plein story is closer to people's life. Coming, growing and leaving.......

Life goes on, and it must be.

"Safe trip to vietame, happiest life in vietame, and welcome to Holland again"

Big pie is falling toward me from the sky

Why? Just let me explain.

I was working the full day today in the resturant. And got some Chinese people were eating in the resturant. People may think that is normal, just Chinese go to eat in the Chinese resturant. The point is that rarely can have Chinese customers, and the most are Dutch. It was a kind of big dinner for them, who are working in the branches of Bank of China in Rotterdam, all the "big heads" from the Bank of China.

I should not critics Chinese as I am also a Chinese. But I want to say something becase those people are really disappointed. I think they are well educated people from China, and taking business abroad. They were showing somehow they are so great, and we are just the lower level workers in the resturant. They looked down to us, rude and spoke loudly( Even they were staying in a seperate side of the restaurant, and Some Dutch people in the other side were even thinking if there was a fight. They got drunk tonight in the restaurant, and the attitude was even worse.

I went to serve, " Hey, you are speaking very good Chinese"" I am from China, and I am studying here, this is just my part-time job""Oh...really? Do you know any internship students?""Nice! I am looking for a placement right moment"........So the next, people could imagine what it is about......... Anyway, from my side, I must lean some new which i did not know from the school.And If I am really interest in it, I need to take the exam before, they will see if I am accepted.

Actually, it was really at the right time. There is a posibility, I mean just from unknowing something to knowing something, it has been a very good Chance to me. But I am really disappointed by the behavior of those people. Perhaps I am going to stay in that environment for half a year.

On the other hand, it is really a great chance. As I said before, I like a piece of white paper, no any working experience and no extra language skills, even now the internship which perhaps I am going to take, I have no many knowledge. So I must be happy there is a big pie coming to me. Gaining experiece is more important. The question now is not to chose as what you are interested in, but what you can lean. Then I will know if I like it. I always believe learning anything is better than nothing. Anyway, I need to face the real society one day, why shouldn't i start now.

" The chance is always given to the people who have been ready to wait there". I decide to try my best for catching up this big pie. Hopefully, it is also going to the right direction.

Have a moan

I was not in a good mood today, eventhough the weather was good, shinning sun and bright moon.

What did I do today? The most of the day time I think i spent on studying, writing an report and searching for the internship.But both of them were not done. Finally, I got the permission from Mum, I can look for the placement in the other countries. She was conviencing me to take placement in China if looking for it was so hard, I said that was just only backup. A bit worried about my placement. Sometimes, I am jealousy on some friends. They already got quiet a lot working experience, and are able to speak more than three languages. I am just like a piece of white paper, nothing. I could not blam anyone. The consquence of growing up in the Chinese education, I would never get so many experience and learn different language in the early age. Well just believe in something, think positively, and work harder.

I was still thinking of him. I thought everything had already been over. And also, I have put myself out of the story, and tell myself I must start new. Actually, I think I have been doing well, make myself busy, go movies, go to gym, go to visite friends. But doing is always more diffcult than thinking. If I rememorize something, I just try to think about some negative words of him,it seemed not work well. Ok, just let it then.

A friend said "Love is the only disease that makes you either feel better or feel worse, but only the time is the best medicine". People's heart is the ocean, even never can be understood by itselves.

I am moaning about things just in my blog, the readers will laught at me or feel bored. But just want to share.
,,,,,,,,,,,

Marriage

It sounds like a bit serious topic. I just heared the story from a friend, her sister is going to divorce soon. I was a bit shocked but on the other hand was thinking if I am too traditional. Anyway I will first just simplely explain the story of her.

From the other people's sights, she has been living in a perfect life since four years ago.She got a really good husband, which is almost the "slave" of her. And even for her, she thought she was loving him. Just till several weeks ago, she met a new guy, and thought the guy was her big love.Later something happened and she realized the guy was an asshole. The problem is that she has cheated to her husband, and she found out she does not love her husband anymore. So it is obviouse they would better break up.

I am just thinking "what does the marriage mean to everyone" and "How do people look at it". Is it just a simple word instead of the relationship between man and woman? The western people are more open to it, or in the other word, perhaps they think getting divorced is easier to accept. If they do not love each other, why should they stay together.May just becasue of this reason, people easily think let's get marriade or let's get divorced. But it is not easy to make the brain fresh to think about if you really do not love her or him any more, or just other elements, such as current arguements, troubles or unsatisfaction. When people are not sure, I think it is better to re-think the situation but saying words or doing something so easily. In this situation, I agree some traditional thinking. Some gramma's age, they always look back, and is satisfied with their life alreay, the marriage is something they do not want to destory. The relationship may has alreay changed, it could become friendship, familyship or still love. Well, it also depends on different people, the attitude to the life. Just need to be save for self and also for partner, taking the serious consideriation.

And on the other hand, Sexual reason is also a big issue between the relationship, and I agree on it. I remembered that I asked a question to a very experienced man " Do you believe in the first sight love?" His answer is " No". He explained that it was just because of the physical reason, perhaps both of them just want to have sex. The answer is simple, but so far, I had no clue for it. I used to believe the first sight love, and maybe also experienced. And It is always hard to realize what actually it is. Now i also believe it, perhaps one day, i will have the same idea as he said. As I mentioned in the previous blog, the " players".... The sexual life is very important to everyone, and help people feel to have a better life. Anything can be the reason to stop the marriage, just everytime, people want to try new, feel different and always unsatisfied. They think they will have better life. Humans are powerful but just we can not indicate the things will happen in the future.

I am afraid that if the whole world is going to become that people only have sex around, even change everyday. What a sad world will be? What the poor life the humans will have? It will no any relationship and marriage exist. I don't like it at all. But just sometimes, all the problems we can not get rid of them.

Still the same sentence from the previous blog:" We are the stories, the stories are us"

"Drugs"

Don't think about the reall drugs , I am just using a matephor here to decribe my feeling.haha...No misunderstandings!!

Let's first play the music and relax a bit.......(Still from one of my favorite-the Corrs- Toss the Feather)

.......

Actually, the "drugs" here I mean just the regularily going to the gym every evening. I did not really recognise if it is like my real sense, but at this moment, I feel like I must go, and also feel unconfortable if i am not going to the gym.(Maybe more psychological idea). The simple reason for that just becasue I want to get very good sleep during the night, so I go after nine in the evening. I was dreaming quiet a lot during the night, about everything, friends, family and some stories, maybe just thinking too much during the day or getting some pressure from the school. I could not explain the reasons, just a lot of things come to my head. ( Well, there was the thing happened, I need to get it over. Dreaming maybe is a process of forgetting or being awareness, Just let me say in that way)

I was trying to find some ways to solve my problem. I drank a lot before, like half bottle of white wine before sleep, it did not help that lot. And also called up my friend before sleep, and talked a bit, but still....Later on, I realized that I should do something really good for myself without bothering people, nomatter for physical or psychological conditions. So I found out to do some sports. Friends say(Just follow them) I need to lose some weight, but I am not such acperson can make it by being on diet. If it happens on me, I rather being killed. But Sports is healthier and the most important is that can help me with sleep and even I felt I can go to bed ealier then wake up ealier, less sleeping hours but more awake and fresher during the day.

Wow!! Sooo.... great!! Friends, let's do it.

Everyday is Mother's Day

To Mama

Alreay did not remember when was the last time:

I was crying in your arms,

I was laughing in your hug,
You were washing my hair,
You were sewing my clothes,

.........

Still Remember:

I was begging for the Babi Toy to you,

I was Sleeping on your shoulders,

You were cooking in the early morning,

You were screaming to me to tidy up my room,

...........

Until the lines are going to your face, going to your hands;

Still now you are worried about your daughter very much,

Caring about your daughter very much,

Missing your daughter very much,

I am always the little girl can never grown up.

Mama, can you please take a break?

Can you please go for your own holiday?

Can you please do things you want but not for me?

Can you please.........

Mama, I love you!

I love you, Mama!

Something nice

The Corrs, a great Irish Family Band, expressing songs only with simple words.......

Great music! Great Voice! Great players!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFRo9z2t_Co&videos=9-Wz4qyDosc&playnext_from=TL&playnext=1

How much weight can people lose?

"Losing weight is a never dead topic for women."

During the break of the Dutch lesson, some girls from class were talking about who is slim and who is fat, so the topic will never far away from losing weight and keep fit. One girl was saying," I am now 60 kilos(168cm), my aim is to be with 45 kilos.""Are you crazy?? That will be too skinny.Some singers were really great before, but after lost 10 kilos, they were becoming under popular....Don;t do that, maybe just make it till 50....." I have heared quiet a lot of girls around me all want to lose weight, look slimmer, then being attractive. Females are always like this, also include me, more care about how selves look like, the face, the body, the clothes.....

Well, to be honest, I have been to gym almost every day for one month.But the purpose going there is to make me sleep well, that is why, i always go a bit late in the evening, 40 mins till it is close. It really works well and on the other hand, the fitness can also be achieved. I just want to point out that keeping fitness is not bad or unnecessary,sports are always good . Just people shouldn't have extreamly idea that want to become skinny skinny, then the sports won't help too much of that.

We should always care about the body condition first and health, keeping losing weight with sports and without food all the time is a bit stupid idea just want to be goodlooking, and it will change your body resistence if lose too much under the standard.

Keep a positive and right attitude on it!

"She is back"

Got a phone call from a friend......

"Hi, I do not feel well. My ex-girlfriend comes back to me, she wants to be together again. I did not say yes neither no. She did not really treat good to me, and was kind of anoying me all the time.I did not like her that much. She said break, just because of her ex-boyfriend came back to her. I already had the feeling that she was playing around, and just wanted to have fun ......"


I am thinking why there are so many people are playing around with girls or boys, especially in the age of twenties? That is fair if both persons are playing, so it doesn't really matter how they feel the relationship.However if there is only one player, the other one gets hurt, of course.The players may think, "ooh...i have a lot of girls/boys arounding me, feel so good!! Or I just want to have sex and do not need to take any responsibilities....."

Can I think the plays do not have responsibilities or they do not want to be responsible for the other one? Maybe even selfish? Don't they feel sick of playing or feel bored of that? Find the MR/MRS Right is not easy, first have to have the relationship, and then being together to see how it is going, if it is good, then continue, if it is bad, then break up. People never know when the relationship will be ended, but always feel sad,or sometimes just depressed while break up. Later people recognise, "oh...she/he is not so important to me though, she/he is more attractive, maybe i can start with her/him...."

People are always changing, so the stories with people are changing too. We are the stories, the stories are us, enjoying the great time with her/him, being truth into the life.


"She is back, but stay away from her, otherwise you get hurt again if you don;t like her anymore!!!"

"She is back, give her and also yourself one chance if you still like each other very much!!!"

Happy Hour

Remember the every moment with friends......I love them.....

Missing

I felt a bit shocked by the email. It is a bit exaggeratedAre parents worried about us too much? Even we call them every week, some people do every 2 days, parents still want to know everything of us. We can not get out of the " control". I am thinking my parents are quiet different than " the other" parents. I can hardly have the feeling with being controled. My Mum always ask the questions about the food, the coldness or warmness and momeny, but Dad always ask my thoughts and a bit what i learnt at school......they are very sensitive, some i did not want to tell, they wouldn;t ask. The feeling being with my parents is more like we are friends, especially with Dad.

I still remembered that a few months ago, i was so afraid of talking to them a few weeks, did not dare to tell them the stories.Later I told themthe stories, Mum and Dad like something was never happened. And still ask something about my studies, my friends, my lige. (I was even so afraid to make the dissappointed, but I realized that they were not. )

"Parents are the one who know you most well." Now I start to believe that....

........

Face issues

Well, by hearing the title, people may start thinking some things, dirts? Pimples? Rimple? Taches? Or even thinking am i only have one eye?haha......

However, I am not going to talk about the physical problems, but the psychological problem:"losing face" . Perhaps it is a bit confused phase, actually it happens in an embrassing situation and how people feel like "losing face". Mostly, Eastern people are more afraid of losing face than the western people, becasue of culture difference or personalities.

I still remembered last Friday morning, i was waiting out side the class room for the teacher's coming. Another teacher was passing by, asking
" are you going to have a presentation?"
"Yes."
" You are dressing up like a waitress in the Chinese resturant, it doesn't suppose like this."

I was thinking," Am i wearing the wrong suit?""I don't think so , just normal suit without the suittop, that's it"

I was just smiling to him and looking back of him. I did not react on anywords but i felt my face was burning. Here i have say, my brain might stoped for a few seconds. After that, i think i should say "Thank you", nomater it means being angry or real thankness. At that moment, burning face told me i was nervous , was laughed at by the teacher, was embrassed by wearing the wrong clothes. If i was really wrong, i did not expect a stranger came to tell me in very mean way, would feel much better if a close come to tell me that.

For western people, in this situation, it will not hurt but they may think the teacher was impolite. That's it.


Sometimes, people just feel embrassed in some unexpected words and thoughs. Or when people really want to do something but are afraid,becasue they have already seen that the people arounding them are showing negative ideas, which becomes stones on the ways. In fact, people are starting thinking not to do the things they really want, in some case, they are afraid of losing face. Of course, not all the things people really want to do are right, just need to judge them.(It sounds easy, but hard to know. There is no short path to avoid the mistakes). Everything has the first time, and something need to be started. Losing face can be a little problem but also can be a big problem.

A man and a woman

" To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little; To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and ..................."

I saw this setence appearing a friend's profile on MSN. He said because of the restriciton of words, he did not finish the complete setence. Actually, the format should be the same.

" To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little; To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and understand her a little"

Well, in this case, It sounds like two people is putting different efforts in the relationship, Loving and understanding. Is that "undertand" more difficult than " love", or I use the other word: painstaking. People can fall in love with someone within one second, but if people want to understand someone, maybe need to use the whole life.Loving makes more understanding. In some situation, the reality can detory it. But i believe that only stonger people can stay like that in the longer time( forever) with the happiness.

Loving and understanding are not countable, it is only known by the woman and the man. Happiness is only esist in the loving and understnading.

...........

Parents

After dinner, we were a bit lazy to move the empty dishes to the kichen. My roommate and I started talking some "Bagua". She was talking about a boy in her childhood. He was a spoiled boy in the familay, her parents cooked every good meal everyday. The most exaggerated story was that his mother checked the toliet every day after he shited. She wanted to check if he was healthy enough. So never think about he was even allowed to do laundary or the other simple work in the family.

It sounds a bit stupid and aslo unbelievable. But it really happened. When the boy was 20, he totaly moved out and was rebelleded to parents....... He would never suffer such things in his life again.

I can not help thinking that when parents did not care their children at all or have less care, how the children will think about their parents.I can always hear some complains that people say " My Mum is annoying" or say" My father is old fashion, did not understand anything " or say " I am disappointed because my parents will not buy me that new edition laptop""........"".........".

I can clearly remember what i was thinking of my parents: "if i have a child, i will never give the same education as i had before. My parents' education failed"( Actually, i like to have children, just hope i will be more successful than my parents )

By hearing those stories, i think it is hard to being parents. Children are always unsatisfied something, and complaining parents.Sometimes, right is wrong, and wrong is still wrong. I said to my roommate" it is better do not have childern, then everything is going to be easier(joking)"" If you do not want to have children, your whole life is not complete"

"hahahaha...." laughing together.

The impressed woman

Perface

Hennie just showed my an interesting story from someone's blog, article is "why do young chinese wanna date old western guy",first sentence appear:"Why not date a Chinese guy? They even tie your shoe laces for you? Try getting a western guy to do this and he'll be long gone."



Started to read the paragraphs, just because recently had watched a piece of TV, recording the Chinese dating(blind date). But this story is a bit different. The reflaction on Chinese women's opinion is similar, money becomes more important if they will marry men.( Well, here it is a little interlude).

(come back again)

http://sheinchina.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2008-01-01T00%3A00%3A00%2B08%3A00&updated-max=2009-01-01T00%3A00%3A00%2B08%3A00&max-results=50

Looking through her blogs, all the articles or stories, i just fell in interested in her words and opinions. How a western woman look at Chinese?( Maybe i will never interested in it if i still stay in China) I think now it is enough that why i am impressed by her. Or maybe, in my subconscious, the other reason is that i wanna start reading something interesting in English, just did not find the right " book" before. It sounds a bit strange reason, but anyway, that's fine, just becasue i like it..

Digression

I do not know why i started writing down my feelings and thoughts. Actually, i used to write something, but it was just like once by ages. Something happened in recent months, i have been thinking a lot. Some of them i did( do) not understand, so there are still question marks in my head, some of them got the answers, or even some of them i choose not to figure out, just put aside. Suddenly i realised that i am a very lucky girl. Always some people have big influence on me, i am growing by expericing different people, and even sometimes, they give me a lot of sunlights and open my minds.

I am falling in love writing down something, hope it is not just for today(Lazy girl, hahaha, i am laughing at myself), sharing opinions and expericing the life, and maybe a stupid idea is to practise writing skill.hahaha.....

Unhappy wedding

I Just saw a small piece of the wedding in the neighbor, the Bridegroom came to pick up the bride to the wedding ceremony.

They never meet each other. The girl was just around sixteen or seventh. And the marriage was arranged by her father, becasue that is the Arabic culture. That was a story behind it, the boy might have paid the father, in order to get the Dutch passport.

What a sad world! Who will be satisfied with the marriage? Father? That is for sure. If by lucky, the girl will fall in love with the man, then they will have a very happy life later; If not, what will happen? Who knows.

I am thinking we are so fortunate to live in this word, We can still do what we like, choose whom we love. Even if we get hurts, but still we are able to get it over, or even say we will get chance to get it over. We may suffer some growing pains and also enjoy growing happiness. However, she can never change anything in her life. She has to live under the powerful culture.

Culture can be changed, but that is not easy, maybe after hundreds or even thousand years. At least, i can not count.

Just wish she will have a better new life.